


Code Red

by UndynesSpear



Category: Undertale (Video Game), underfell (undertale)
Genre: Ecto-Penis (Undertale), Ecto-Tongue (Undertale), Eventual Smut, F/M, M/F, Mentions of alcohol, References to Depression, Soulmates, Underfell, flirting disguised as trash-talking, mentions of smoking, reader has a sailor mouth, reader likes video games, red is a fucking pervert, short fic, the burn will occur at an appropriate speed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-02 22:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21168884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndynesSpear/pseuds/UndynesSpear
Summary: Sometimes you just need some good food, bad laughs, and to play video games with friends. Too bad life can't always be that easy, or can it?





	1. F(lush)

Slipping off your work garb and trading it for your flannel shorts and a black tank top you turned on the PS4, heading to the kitchen to grab some easy snacks from the kitchen. Were they healthy snacks? Sure, if you covered up the center portion of the food pyramid with a package of oreos and a bag of chips. You hummed happily to yourself, shaking your hips to an imagined song as you bent over to look in the fridge for a soda, or maybe a beer… nah. You grabbed a couple cans from the fridge, your headset almost sliding off your face from the angle. You grunted and shoved it back up with your forearm, straightening you almost dropped all the food on your way back to the living room when the familiar ping of someone joining your chat room rang in your ears. You groaned, wincing in pain, why the hell was that turned up so loud? A familiar deep chuckle filled your ears, you winced again, it was like putting your ears right up to a bass speaker and turning the volume all the way up, it rattled your brain. “Oof, oh my stars shut up for a moment, my hands are full and the volume is up way too loud, my ears are going to burst!” You heard a quiet snicker as you yanked off the headset, knowing he would ignore your pleading in favor of causing you any small annoyance, even if that means blowing out your eardrums.

“i told you i could get you moanin’ for me, sweetheart.” He purred, you proceeded to make loud retching sounds as you dumped your pile of snacks on the table next to your overstuffed chair. “Only in emotional and mental pain, I think I can sue for damages.” You slipped the headset back on, at a much more manageable volume. He chuckled again and you rolled your eyes with a smirk. “oh, i got cash, no need to get lawyers involved, wanna give me yer address so i can  _ pay _ ya a visit?” You made a disgusted snorting sound into the mic as he laughed loudly, making you turn the volume down a notch. You did like his voice, it was a deep baritone, with a bit of a rasp from his smoking habit, though he tended to get a bit loud when he was excited, but who didn't? You fired up Monster Hunter World, selecting your character before logging in, seeing your companion quickly follow, joining your session as soon as it was made. “You ready to slaughter some innocent creatures?”

“oh come  _ on _ , that's  _ bullshit  _ and you know it!” You snickered as you ‘accidentally’ staggered him with a swing of your switch axe as he tried to take down the Odogaron. “Oops, my bad- oops.” You got him again as he was about to get the mount. Honestly you were helping him catch up, you could slay this thing with your eyes shut and a broken xbox controller so you were just messing with him. “i swear woman, gonna feed you to this fuckin’ thing!” You cackled wildly, thwacking his character in the head with a slinger shot. A roar filled your headset and it had nothing to do with the monster on screen. Your lips twisted into a cheshire grin as he started wildly swinging his greatsword at you, you giggled and ran from him, expertly flipping off the wall to get the mount, finishing off the target while your enraged counterpart chased you around the map until the timer ran out.

You grinned, “Aw, cute, Red, you got Tracking Whiz!” He grunted, still pouting, “Are you mad at me~” You pouted at the screen with a grin, hearing him sigh dramatically directly into the mic, which would have blown out your ears if you hadn’t been expecting it. Redskull was a guy you met on a random hunt you had joined for some low rank parts a couple months back. He had been flirty from the get-go, you rolled your eyes as you remembered his cheesy pick-up lines, seemingly rolling off his tongue in endless supply, much like his shitty puns. Honestly you found him hilarious, not that you’d ever admit that. If you did that you would have to admit you liked the guy and  _ that _ was a dangerous thought. Sure playing games online with him was fun, and he never said anything to raise any red flags, but you know better than to make that mistake of getting too close. You had too many online ‘friends’ turn nasty when you rejected their advances, no matter how gently you let them down, regardless of gender. Honestly you changed game fixations often enough you didn’t have to worry about it most of the time since you usually switched platforms as well. PC and PS4 were your preferred systems at this point but you had a switch and 3DS now, and you would for sure get the new Pokémon game coming out in the fall.

You were honestly surprised they continued making the games after monsters emerged from Mt. Ebott, some humans and monsters finding the games in bad taste in the light of what had occured in our ignorance, but it turns out most monsters saw it as a game where you became friends and the capturing system was more symbolic, though the company did mention a more ‘acceptable’ capturing system for the next games, closer to the one for Ranger games where you borrow powers or the pokémon decides to stay with you after you befriend it properly, something like that, you didn’t care honestly, you bought the games religiously regardless of internet hype. It was a small piece of your childhood you were sure you wouldn’t let go of. What really surprised you were games like Monster Hunter being still acceptable, you couldn’t imagine a monster willingly playing a game where the goal is literally to hunt  _ monsters _ . You read a few online things about in passing curiosity on tumblr, a few monster ask-blogs responding with polarizing opinions but most said those weren’t Monsters, those were monsters, just wild beasts. Capitalization and spoken inflections were very important to monster speech and writing, they seemed to speak a mix of mostly North American English and a small amount of broken Japanese they picked up from manga and anime dvds that washed down underground. Some chose to move to Japan and were welcomed with open arms by the country and rulers, a few moved to various other countries but most stayed within the United States, concentrated around the mountain from where they emerged.

You shrieked with laughter as the Anjanath picked Red up and spiked him on the ground, “shut tha fuck up! i’m gonna slit ya fuckin’ throat ya overgrown lizard!” He growled into the mic before raking his blade across it’s ribs. You snickered and pelted the membrane raising from it’s back with water arrows as it went charging after him, staggering it, causing it to flop over. You grinned and lined up your Dragon Piercer Shot 3… 2… 1-  _ Thock! _ You let it fly- right into Red as he intentionally ran into it. “YOU FUCKASS.” You roared at him in disbelief, you didn’t bother turning the mic down as his deep laughter deafened you as the stupid lizard got up to sprint off down the path. You could have killed it right fucking there. “oh? i’m sorry  _ sweetheart _ .” He clipped the ‘t’, his voice was saccharine sweet, dripping with honey, “i got in yer way didn’t i? how  _ clumsy  _ of me.” You growled and he laughed, not even commenting when you shot him in the head with your slinger as you ran by, causing him to miss a vine.

You shoved some chips in your mouth and chewed obnoxiously without muting the mic to annoy him, somehow he was not deterred and continued with the gross pick up lines, you both had started drinking to celebrate his graduation to high rank missions and were trying to outdo each other with the worst pick up lines you can think of. “kitten, you're so gorgeous i’d suck a fart outta yer ass.” You groaned loudly in exasperation, they weren’t even clever anymore, now he was just trying to get a reaction by being as crude as possible. “that’s what it takes to get you to moan?” You could hear the grin in his voice and you gave an annoyed shriek, not caring it was past 3am and your neighbors were sleeping. “oh yeah, scream for me, babe.” You held up your hands to the sky in supplication to any beings above watching this torture. “Red really, I know you have better ones than that! It wasn’t even clever.” His chuckle was deep and smooth, the alcohol smoothing his usual rasp though you were sure he had a lit smoke in his hand by the way he was running on screen. “Get the fuckin dicks outta your hands and run!” He snorted but you noticed he was suddenly running straighter. “yeh, as soon as you get the stick outta yer ass.” You rolled your eyes, you could almost hear his sudden smirk, “i got somethin’ better to stick in yer ass.”

“Ugh, really? Really? Really, Red?” He laughed and you heard him shove a handful of chips in his mouth and the clink of a glass against his teeth and then a loud crunch of ice, you winced at the volume. He let out a refreshed sigh, “hey, gonna go get another bottle.” You frowned, sure that he told you he had just opened that fifth of whiskey a couple hours back, you mentally shrugged maybe he meant the mixer. You knew very few people who could down shots like you without a mixer or chaser, it wasn’t because you were trying to show off or anything, it just made you drunk faster; you didn’t like drinking but you liked being drunk. To be fair though, a few weeks back you saw a friend of you brother’s kill a bottle of Captain Morgan and not even flinch, though about half an hour later he was stumbling over flat surfaces and being an ass. Red barely seemed to slur his words, even when you knew he had been at it for a while. He was a flirty drunk, not really any different from his usual self, but the flirting was less cute and more like lines a guy would lay on you at a seedy bar downtown.

You had never felt threatened by him, he teased about visiting you but you had told him early on that would not be happening, jokes were fine but you were only interested in an online friendship with him. It may progress to IRL one day, but two months is definitely too soon to even consider that, you didn’t even exchange actual names, still going by nicknames from your usernames, not that he didn’t try to get your real name. “you still there, sweetheart?” His voice was getting that deep sleepy tone you were fond of, you hummed quietly. “well, are ya comin’?” A grin split your lips. “Oh Red, I ain’t even breathin’ hard.” You purred over the chat, you heard a choking sound like drink going down the wrong tube. For all his posturing, he got flustered rather easily, and the dirtier you went the more flustered he became. You tried to be careful, your mouth tended to write checks you weren’t ready or willing to cash, especially when you had been drinking. “ah doll, you say tha word and we can change that.”  _ Oh shit, his voice is really starting to get to me _ . You shifted uncomfortably in your chair, going quiet as you flushed, switching your equipment set as an excuse. “heh, why so quiet kitten? here lemme help ya,” He cleared his throat and your eyes widened, you couldn’t handle bedroom voice Red right now, you would D/C for sure. Your thumb hovered over the off button in your menu for the consol- “ _ oh red, please take me, you big strong mon- er-  _ man _ ! i want you sooooo bad. _ ” You screamed in laughter, his poor impersonation of you instantly breaking the mood and sending tears down your face. The controller tumbled from your hands as you fell to the ground clutching your stomach, your headset now more around your neck as you laughed. His voice came through the speakers tinny from the distance, “what? that don’ sound like ya? i thought it was spot-on!” You could hear the grin in his voice through the faux-indignation.

Somehow Red knew when you were about to run and found a quick way to diffuse the situation, but you weren’t going to analyze that right now. You gasped, wheezing unattractively, you finally sat up, coughing a couple times, you shoved the headset back on top of your head, your bun getting messed up in the process, but it was a lost cause at this point. “Holy shit Red, are you trying to kill me?” He chuckled again and you could hear him shifting around in what you assumed was his chair. “heh, whatever keeps ya happy, doll.” You snorted, missing the wistful tone in his voice as you demanded he cue up his next mission so you could knock a few more out before bed. He sighed and looked at the clock before he started the mission, it was going to be another long day at work tomorrow.

You silently eyed the clock on your wall above the tv and scowled, you needed to stay up later than this, but you could already feel your eyelids drooping. You had a few graveyard shifts coming up so you decided to get a jump on acclimating, you couldn’t afford to crash at work. You were surprised Red was staying up as late as he was, you knew for a fact he had to get up early for work. “hey, so if you were offered human flesh to eat, would you try it? no consequences.” You squinted at the screen, maybe he wasn’t holding up as well as you thought. Cannibalism isn’t the topic you thought he’d pick, you expected something much more lewd. You narrowed your eyes further, he might just be playing the long game with this one. It wouldn’t be the first time he had done something like this just for a joke. Once the punchline didn’t come for literally three days. For someone so hot-headed, Red sure was patient when it came to getting something he wanted.

“Um, well, I would say only under dire circumstances, like I hadn’t eaten to the point I will literally die if I don’t eat and that is all that is available, otherwise I don’t have the desire to eat the flesh of a being with human or monster-like intelligence. I’d never say no to a medium-rare steak with a twice-baked potato of course.” You laughed, debating if you wanted to get up and make an actual meal, shaking your head, you were way too tired. Red groaned in your ear, making goose-flesh rise on your arms, your teeth finding your lower lip. “oh, don’t stop, sweetheart, what’s for dessert, can mine be your sweet, sweet-” You laughed, rubbing your eyes, telling him to shut up.

“well, either way, i’d  _ eat _ you for sure, doll.” You couldn’t help your thighs rubbing together again under his insinuation, you knew he would find some way to turn this into a dirty joke. “until ya  **b e g** me ta stop.” You whined into the mic at his deep growl in attempted annoyance but it came out sounding more like a needy moan than anything. You heard Red’s sharp intake of breath and froze, slapping a hand over your mouth.  _ That _ wasn’t supposed to happen. “heh, knew ya liked my voice,  _ kitten _ , but i’m really  _ moan _ -ed at how  _ breath _ less i’m makin ya.” 

“That- that- I was- It was a sound of annoyance!” Red was roaring with laughter, your face was so warm you could almost feel a layer of skin starting to burn off in embarrassment.  _ Ugh, maybe my whole face will melt off and I can just die. _ You made a pathetic groaning sound as Red continued to laugh at your terrible lie. He finally calmed down after you threatened to leave the party call twice, you could still hear the smirk in his voice. “just give in doll, ol’ red’ll show ya a real good time, promise ta let ya even stay the night!” You snorted and crossed your arms. “Oh how  _ generous _ , you’re a real  _ saint _ there Red. How could a girl refuse such a great offer.” You deadpanned, knowing Red would ignore the sarcasm for the plain words under it.

“hey, i’m a nice guy, willin ta give ya a real  _ nice _ time, ya just gotta say yes and i can be there in no time.” You kicked your feet up on your coffee table, kicking drawing materials and notebooks to the side, your old laptop you write fanfiction on coming close to the edge but you were a bit drunk and feeling a bit mouthy and didn’t much care. “Oh yeah? How you gonna manage that? Ain’t like you got magic or somethin!” Red was quiet a moment before he chuckled, “wanna make a bet?” You felt your lips twist and your eyes narrow, he sounded way too sure of himself, you opened your mouth to decline when you realized you were taking a while to answer. “so you meet that new neighbor of yers yet?” You clicked your jaw shut at the sudden topic change.

“Uh- no, I can’t remember if they were moving last week or this week, not that I would notice being gone at work or asleep most of the time.” You heard him give a grunt of agreement. “do ya know if its a human or a monster? Your building  _ allow  _ monsters even?” Your nose wrinkled, not liking how he said that. “ _ Yes _ .” You bit out defensively, “And of course they didn’t tell us, but I would be fine either way, I have no problem with monsters.” You hissed out, crossing your arms and glaring at the idle game screen in front of you. Red was quiet for a moment and you growled, taking that as him disagreeing when he hastily replied.

“h-hey, calm down! me- me neither, i got no problem with humans- or monsters, i was jus’ askin coz ya know how people can be.” You huffed, glad you just misunderstood him. “So, speaking of moving how was yours?” He grumbled and complained, yelling about how his brother tried to help him ‘pack’ by throwing out half his room before he could get the keys to his new place saying it was mostly trash anyway. You made a sound of annoyance and disbelief on his behalf but somehow feeling like his brother might not be exaggerating as you had heard a few beer cans being kicked out of the way while talking to Red. He stormed about his apartment, you could hear bottles being scattered as he raged, you giggled as you muted the mic, cackling as you heard him smash his toe into his coffee table and scream about that.

A couple hours later you hung upside down in your chair, giggling as Red was telling you a story about his childhood, voice a bit slurred from drink and the late hour, you honestly weren’t fairing much better. “-so my bro looks at me, i look at the chickens, then the police officer turns to me and says ‘boys i don’t got time for no  _ fowl _ play.’ man i never seen my bro so mad.” You howl with laughter, face red from gravity, alcohol, and the bad pun. “So- hic- so did they ever find the second chicken?” You can almost hear Red grin, “there  _ was _ no second chicken.” Your mouth popped open, that was  _ evil _ . You chuckled and slid out of the chair ungracefully, landing heavily on your upper back and then side as you didn’t even try to break your fall. “man, my neighbor must be doing some serious lifting, sounds like they just dropped a couch.” You huffed. “That was me, dick, I just slid out of my chair and the mic was unmuted.” He was quiet for a second before he laughed, “shit, doll, you might be just as lazy as i am.” You rolled your eyes from your position on the floor. “Might just lay here tonight, sleep on the floor, too drunk to move or care.” Red laughed and you could hear him shifting in his chair.

“c’mon sweetheart, that shits awful for yer back, not even monsters are safe from that shit heh.” You hummed, eyes closed as you rested your head on your folded arms, living room only lit by the dimmed television screen and the small glimpses of streetlights peeking through your blinds. “Do you know much about monsters, Red? There wasn’t really any where I’m from. I think they’re interesting, shit, us humans must be really fucking boring to a bunch of magic beings.” Red grunted and you heard him toss another can across his apartment towards the trash with a small clatter, sounding oddly echoey for a moment. “eh, a bit, not too much, there were monsters where i’m from. magic don’t mean much when ya can’t use it ya know? sure some of em ignore the laws but most tha time it ain’t worth it to exchange freedom for lighting a candle or closing a door…” He mumbled something quietly but you didn’t quite hear it. “but humans are plenty interestin’, imagine tellin a bein made of dust and soul that you got a second body that works like living armor made of meat that can repair itself without tha need of no green magic.” You screwed up your face, rolling to look up at the ceiling of your living room, watching the flickering reflection of lights dance across it.

“Yeah, you’re right, that would be pretty interesting.” You snorted, of course your mind would go somewhere dirty, you had been drinking and you were talking to Red after all, you were sure that man would find a way to charm the panties off a nun given half a suggestion. Red made a questioning sound as you heard him take another gulp of his beer.  _ Geeze, how much can he drink? _ “Uh- heh, its nothing, random intrusive thought.” That was  _ definitely _ the wrong thing to say.

"oh yeah?" Those two words were anything but innocent coming from Red. Anyone else and it would sound like mild interest, even slightly teasing. Red also knew you way too well, especially for knowing you per se as long as he did. "It was nothing." The second it came out of your mouth you knew you had said it too quickly, Red was a pretty sharp guy, he never told you exactly what he did for a living but he seemed to have to work very few days. He almost always was online when you got home and if he wasn't he would log in not too long after you, an hour at the most. You figured he would get sick of talking to you, finally pull you off the pedestal every new person seemed to put you on after meeting you for the first time, but he never did he even sometimes texted you while you were at work to say hey or complain about something his brother did.

"awww, c'mon doll, don't hold out on me here!" You chewed your lip, cave flushed from the question on the tip of your tongue. Honestly it wouldn't do anything to ask it besides embarrass you, it's not like Red knew  _ that _ much about monsters, it's not like he  _ was _ one. _ Ugh, and if he was oh my stars that would be even worse.  _ You made a weird groaning sound and covered your face, that would be  _ awful _ . You might seriously consider making a new ps4 account to escape the shame of asking such a weird question. You caught sight of the time on your phone as you looked up. "Whoops! Would you look at the time! Time for you to go the fuck to sleep!" Red snorted through the mic.

"heh, fine, I'll letcha off the hook tonight. I got work tomorrow so I prob'ly won't be around till tha day after or somethin." You made an acknowledging sound, surprised he actually let it go for once but you were sure it was because he really did need to sleep. You knew he didn't sleep well, he never really told you why, the only reason you knew about it at all was because he had fallen asleep once while talking to you as you went over the latest chapter of a story you were writing. You had paused when you heard his snores being overcome by small whimpers which grew into soft crying and then hoarse screams you had about called 911 thinking someone was being murdered in the next apartment over when you realized it was coming from your headset.

You had tried calling out to him a few times through the headset but figured it must have slid from his head, you snatched up your phone and hit his contact, hoping his stupidly obnoxious ringtone that he picked for you would wake him. As you heard the song faintly between his screams you sighed in relief as he suddenly cut off followed by the silencing of his phone. He had answered the phone with your name concerned you were calling him so late an that something must have happened. Once you had explained why you were calling he went quiet for a moment, you were sure he was trying to find the words to say it wasn't him or find some mundane reason for his screaming but came up short. You told him he didn't have to tell you but you would listen if he ever chose to, and that he could call you if he just wanted company. Something seemed light and fluttery in your chest after you said it, somehow feeling it was the right thing to say. "Yeah I know the drill, have fun at worrrrrrk~" You purred smugly into the mic. He gave you a disgusted grunt and logged off as you laughed. You too powered down your game system and headed to bed for a nap, your work week started soon too after all.


	2. Reali(tea)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the _fuck_ is he?

The first day you weren’t surprised when he didn’t log in, two days, not the worst, but by day five you were almost panicking. You had already sent him a text, trying to keep it teasing but still let him know you were concerned. This is the longest hes gone without saying something to you. Sure he had been gone for over a week before but not without texting you at least once. You gnawed on one of your remaining already short nails as you stared at the phone, watching the hours tick by. This was one of the few times you regretted not knowing him a bit better, like maybe the city he lived in or his actual name, you were starting to get scared something had happened to him. You had said something to a few IRL friends but they kind of brushed it off, telling you that maybe this was normal for him, knowing a guy online for a couple months didn’t constitute a pattern of behavior, ‘Or he just, y’know ghosted or whatever.’ which you said seemed very unlikely and they just shrugged, citing the earlier argument. You reluctantly agreed but that was two days ago and felt if you brought it up again they wouldn’t take it seriously.

The thing is though you had spent so much time talking to him and being ‘around’ him you just  _ knew _ this wasn’t normal, something in your heart told you something wasn’t right. You watched as the screen of your phone flashed another hour past with no reply from Red. The read notification didn’t even show, it didn’t even show it was received by his phone. You tried to be rational, maybe he broke his phone? He did have a habit of throwing shit when he was mad. Your finger hovered over the call button on your phone, you were scared to call and not because he might pick up and be totally fine but because he might  _ not _ .

You took your hair out of its frizzy bun for the fiftieth time today and quickly redid it, honestly not an improvement but you needed to do something with your hands. You picked up your phone again and looked at the number just below Red’s and made a sour face, it definitely wasn’t dire enough to call  _ him _ yet. Red told you it was probably best if you called that number only if absolutely necessary, like you had a serious need to get ahold of him. At the time he had given you the other number you had almost refused it, it felt too serious to have a phone number like that, too personal. He had even given you a code word so the other person on the line would take you seriously, you really didn’t like the guy and had whined to Red that he probably wouldn’t listen regardless of any code word once he found out it was you he was talking to. Red for once wasn’t having it and told you he would listen to what you had to say, he didn’t say he would be pleasant (you doubted the man could even crack a smile without cracking his skull in two to accomplish it). Red had laughed when you said so, but you tried not to throw too many insults at the guy, he was Red’s brother after all.

Having a couple of your own you knew it was one thing for him to say something rude about his brother it was a whole ‘nother ball game when you started in. The first time you had heard the way Edge spoke to his brother you had almost lost your cool, it was degrading and rude especially considering from what you could gather Red had raised him from a toddler after their dad had disappeared when they were kids. You knew they had a tough life but you could never imagine being able to summon the amount of venom Edge used when talking to or about Red on your own brothers. Once Edge had finished his tirade with a dramtic stomping exit and a slammed door you had asked Red who the  _ fuck _ that was. You had missed the quick intake of breath from Red as he heard the growl in your voice, somewhat embarrassed you had heard that. He wanted to slam his head through a wall, you and Edge meeting would be… explosive. He never knew you to back down from a confrontation, especially when your morals were being directly threatened, and hearing Edge speak that way to his own brother who was more like a damn father to him made your blood boil. Red had tried to diffuse the situation, telling you his brother had a tough day at work and he wasn’t usually like this.  _ Liar _ .

“Red. I can tell when you’re lying, I can  _ always  _ tell.” His stuttered ramblings went silent. “You don’t have to explain your shit to me, you don’t owe me anything, you can tell me to mind my business but do not  **l i e** to me.” You hated being like this but you could not  _ stand _ liars, most lies didn’t make sense in your opinion, especially if you were involved. It was just really shady and made your skin itch anytime you heard one. You couldn’t tell when just  _ anyone _ was lying of course, but someone you had spent some time you tended to get a feel for them and you would start to feel the tell-tail itch in the center of your sternum. You had tested it in childhood with your brothers and a couple friends, you parents too but they were unwitting test subjects, even as a kid you knew they wouldn’t take you seriously even if you proved it. Well, that was a tough day for your younger brother when you asked your parents if Santa was real and well… Your parents thought you had a bug bite from how much you scratched your chest that day.

You apologized to Red for barking at him like that but once you explained further he agreed to decline answering a question if the answer was going to be a lie. He explained there were some things about his life he couldn’t share but also understood your dislike for liars. You hissed at Edge’s contact and pressed the call button on Red’s contact and immediately got his voicemail. You didn’t realize how much you had missed him until you heard his scratchy voice on the voicemail message. “ _ hello? ….hello- oh, hey i can’t hear- ….. hold on lemme get over here- (sounds of cans being kicked over) is this better? ...cool, uh so before ya start lemme just letcha know that you got my voicemail! hahahaha! fuckin’ dumbass! leave a message or don’t, i aint gonna call ya back anyway.” _ You hated how long that stupid thing was, but right know it was a balm to your nerves, that is until you realized this meant his phone was at least off for sure as you couldn’t imagine him ignoring your call. “Hey, uh, its me, just haven’t seen you on in a while, wanted to make sure you weren’t uh, well, call me when you get this okay?” You cringed as you hung up, that sounded super casual and not at all panicky. Well, at least he would get a good laugh when he read your messages. You’d never tell him but right now you would let him make fun of you without complaint if you could just know he was okay.

You stood from the couch and blinked in surprise at how dark your living room was, maybe you were more worried than you thought if you lost that much time waiting for him to contact you. As you wandered to the kitchen you rubbed absently at your sternum, it almost seemed to  _ hurt _ , like the way it itches when people lied to you but very different, like a dull throbbing pain, like an old scar or a pain that wasnt even yours. It had happened a couple times over the past week while Red was gone but you hadn't thought much of it, but now it seemed almost like a bone deep bruise. Though everytime you poked of rubbed at it did nothing to either increase or soothe the throb.

You dropped your hand from your chest in favor of pouring yourself a glass of tea from the fridge and staring abysmally at the contents before closing the door. You had slowly lost some of your appetite this past week, you figured your worry for Red was part of the issue but food just really didn't look good tonight. You wouldn't have even gotten the tea but you knew you needed to drink something (even if it was a diuretic). You slumped back into your chair, looking between the blinds at the streetlights outside, barely hearing the almost silent rush of the highway a few streets over through the closed glass. You shoved your glasses on top of your head and rubbed your face you didn't even have work to occupy you, it was your weekend. Not that work had been such a great distraction anyway, you caught yourself making stupid mistakes because something made you think of Red, causing your chest to throb in pain.

You lifted the glass to your lips only to about drop it all over yourself when a massive  ** _THUD._ ** Resounded through your small apartment accompanied by what sounded like the smashing of some sort of table. You whipped your head to the side, it sounded like it came from the apartment next door. You sat frozen a moment before cautiously standing and peeking out your peephole at the door across from yours. There were two apartments at the top of each building that shared the same set of stairs so the only apartment that could have come from was the one that was vacant across from you until apparently very recently. You heard a quiet groaning sound, like a thick plank of wood being bent very slowly. You made a face, trying to decide if you should see if whoever was next door was hurt or if you should wait it out and maybe call the cops to do a wellness check since you didnt know them at all.

You stepped back from the door to do just that when you heard what sounded like another piece of furniture being crushed along with a deep cry of pain. You but your lip hard, trying to come to a decision but instead found your hand pulling open your door and your feet carrying you the single stride to the door opposite. You blinked, hand poised to knock when you looked down the stairs to see both of the families that lived downstairs peeking up at you, some concerned, or curious. A rabbit woman named Beth stood on the bottom step of the stairs as if she had started to come up but saw you leave and waited. She gave you a questioning look and you gave her a reassuring nod you didnt feel but held your hand up in a "let me see what's up, maybe call the cops" and she nodded, stepping back with her family and holding her phone in hand just in case.

You jumped when you heard a masculine grunt of pain and a few bottles fall to the ground. You were less and less sure about figuring this out by the second. One last look down the stairs at the concerned mix of humans and monsters made you hesitantly knock, almost flinching at the sound of your own knocks. It sounded thunderous in the small stairwell, but that was nothing compared to slight squeal of the door hinges when it opened under your knocks. From the small amount the door had swung open you could see empty drink and bottle cans strewn about and a few broken pieces of furniture. It almost looked like something very large and heavy had landed on tip of whatever it was, causing it to shoot debris in all directions.

"Hello?" You said in a small voice, after which you cleared your throat, "I live next door and I stopped by to see if you were okay? Sorry to disturb you…" your ears were met with silence. The burning in your chest had returned with a vengeance when you had peeked inside the apartment. You couldn't make out too much from what little light your knocking allowed into the dark space. You assumed whoever own the place had heavy blackout curtains to keep out the light. You worried maybe it was a type of monster who couldn't handle too much sunlight. "Um. Can I come in to see if you're alright? I have some medical experience..." There was a small groan but not answer but you pretended it was anyway. With one last firm nod at Beth you entered the darkened room.

Your stupid human eyes took a moment to adjust, you felt a bit sexist looking around but your first thought was  _ a man lives here alone _ . It wasnt  _ trashed  _ but the place definitely wasn't clean, piles of laundry, multiple old takeout containers from some place called  _ Grillby's _ , books with blank covers or covered in odd symbols littered the floor and remaining desk. As you thought the coffee table in the center of the living room was crushed like a boulder had been dropped on it, the large overstuffed chair flung onto it's back on the other side of the smashed table. You were having trouble figuring out what exactly had happened, the place almost seems like it was robbed but nothing valuable was taken, PS4 console and tv still perfectly fine across the room. Most of the destruction seemed to have centered in the middle of the living room.

Stepping further into the room you walked carefully around wood and glass debris, as you rounded the couch you stepped on something hard that grunted loudly. You gasped and stepped back quickly, seeing a very pale hand slide slowly towards the massive body it belonged to. Your eyes were probably comically large by now as you took in the hulking figure collapsed on the ground. A large black parka with fur trim covered the bulk of the man laying face down on the floor. "well, are ya just gonna fuckin stare at me all night lady or are ya gonna help me?" You choked on your own spit at the voice growling against the floor,  _ he kinda sounds like.. _ . You blinked hard, shaking your head, no way that's him, and yanked the remains of the coffee table away from the man trapped between it and the couch. You pulled a few more things away before you saw him push one of his massive arms under his body and push himself up slowly. You wondered what face you were making as he hauled himself up, shooing you away when you offered him a hand up. He took one look at your tiny human woman hand and chuckled. "heh, such tiny hands, break em on accident if I look at em too hard."

You finally saw his face as his hood slid back, a massive skeleton monster looked back at you with pitch black sockets, dim red lights serving as pupils gazed harshly into yours. A viscous smile full of dagger-sharp teeth greeted you, making your heart beat a bit faster, especially when the lone gold tooth caught a stray beam of the streetlights. "maybe i should crush my furniture more often if it makes a pretty thing like you come around." You could grease a pig with the sleazy smile that stretched across his face, the burning in your chest was unbearable and with one word you wiped the smile from his face. "Red?"

The corners of his grin dipped immediately, eyesockets wide in shock. He hadn't heard your voice clearly through the door and the throbbing in his skull, it had made his soul throb in pain, not that he noticed it with all the other pains. "...cat?" Fuck, you were  _ gorgeous.  _ His soul screamed in his chest as you looked up at him with those gem-like eyes. All the aches and pains, gone when you smiled up at him, the sight rivalling his first sunrise on the surface. "Where the  _ fuck _ have you been? I thought you were dead!" Oh no, oh no no no, you were crying and it was his fault.

Tears streamed down your face as you looked up at the massive monster before you, which of course only made you angrier. "Well?" You angrily wiped at your eyes, surely smearing what little eyeliner was left across your cheeks. This was definitely  _ not _ how you wanted this to go, one; you were crying, two; he was clearly injured if the way he was subtly holding one side of his ribs along with the 'bruise' under his right socket, three; this was happening in person. Red is definitely not what you expected, though a lot of things he said made a ton of sense now. The harsh angles of his face seemed to soften, even his large mouth full of dagger teeth softened into a smile, eye sockets now more lidded somehow and eye lights fuzzier.

"hey, dont cry kid, I'm alright." He reached up with his free arm and went to pat your head but hesitated a moment, seeing how large his hand was compared to your skull. He always forgot how tiny humans were, even their largest barely came up to his nasal ridge and he was one of the shorter adult monsters. He closed his hand and drew it back, not seeing your confused expression. "its ah, it's part of my  _ job _ . got distracted and paid tha price, I'll be fine-" he let out a series of wet-sounding coughs. You frowned at him hard and threw your hands on your hips, which probably looked almost comical to the downstairs neighbors stacked in the open doorway. Red gave you a sheepish look as he wiped something glowing and red from the corner of his mouth and not-so-subtly wiped it on the back of his black and gold shorts.

"That's it mister, sit down or lay down on  _ something _ you didnt somehow smash. How the fuck did you even get up here without destroying everything on your way up?" He snorted at you and sneered "well, yer human shit ain't big enough for me, and half of it is made of garbage anyway, nah I take that back, I've had sturdier garbage for a table than this piece of shit." He glared at the crushed remains of the table. You glared up at him, "Ya know what? Bet you just got wasted and tripped over the poor thing, wouldn't be the first time I've heard you destroy something by tripping over it." He grumbled at you and opened his mouth to holler some more when a snarky voice chimed in from the sea of rubberneckers now flooding the open door trying to see who you were yelling at.

"If you guys are gonna  _ bone _ all night can you close the door, I'm tryin ta nap." You leaned around Red and glared at the cat monster lazily leaning up against the frame, showing no signs of having been sleeping. "Oh stars, shut the hell up Burgerfucker, at least I fuck people, not food." He scowled at you openly as the gaggle of rabbit monsters snickered at him. He stood from the doorway and stomped downstairs after calling you a cunt. "Cat, dear? Do you somehow  _ know _ Sans?" You looked at the grey-furred monster in confusion for a moment before it clicked, of  _ course _ Red wasnt his real name. 

"Ah, yeah, actually…" it was admittedly a really weird situation and you were sure you would be freaking out later but right now you had an injured monster in a destroyed apartment. Beth nudged the door open a bit further before flicking on the living room light, you gasped as you saw the extent of Reds injuries. "Oh stars damn it Red." His eye lights skittered away from you as you looked up at him, small cuts and cracks ran across any and all visible bone, you imagined they were what scars were to human skin, some of the bone a bit thicker in places.

"heh, sorry doll, know I ain't much to look at." You snorted, what a vain monster. "You're plenty to look at you dumbass." You rolled your eyes as his eye lights darted back to you, a small red flush staining his cheekbones. "Aww, are you  _ blushing _ ?" You cooed at him, you poked his unbruised cheekbone as Beth came around the couch, you yelped at the small rush of warmth that jumped from his bones to your skin, it wasn't unpleasant, just unexpected.  _ That has never happened before _ . You looked at your hand in curiosity, missing Red's utterly obliterated expression. Beth froze in shock, seeing the small burst of magic jump between you two, before swallowing her squeal of excitement.  _ Oh my stars!!!! This is so wonderful!!! _ That sudden bright spark, joining of magics only happened between two adult monsters (or apparently one adult monster and one adult human) when they met their Soulmate for the first time.The underground had not seen many matches, especially with the "kill or be killed" mentality going on underground, even Beth herself was not innocent, doing what she had to keep herself and her kids fed, husband long ago gone, probably dusted, she didn't care, he hadn't helped when he was around. He hadn't been her soulmate, but she did what she needed to survive at the time, but eight children later he suddenly up and left one night. She had been admittedly jealous and resentful of any of her friends who managed to find their mate or a decent man regardless, it was hard down there and she was glad she got out, if she hadn't… well, she would keep going for the kids.

"Hmmm, weird. So how fucked up are your ribs?" Red blinked a few times before looking down at you. "uh, they're fine doll, don't worry." You glared up at him, "Oh, so you're just holding your arm against your ribs to be cool?" You snorted at his sheepish grin. "whateva you're into, sweetheart." you made a loud retching sound at him and he grinned, shifting his weight and wincing, grabbing his ribs. You turned to Beth in annoyance, "Hey Beth, how do I treat a beat-up skeleton monster?" One of her children chimed in from the doorway;

"That boy need some milk!" Red turned and growled at the teenage boy who squeaked and ran down the stairs with his siblings. "lil shits." He groaned when Beth flicked the back of his skull. "Those are  _ my _ little shits, bones-for-brains." Red made a face at the irritated rabbit as she turned to you he stuck what you assumed was his tongue out at her behind her back. You stared for a moment, the smooth, glowing red appendage stretched well past the bottom of his jaw. Which of course meant you stared a moment too long, Red caught your gaze and gave you a wink as he made a lewd gesture with his tongue in your direction.

"Sans really?" Beth stood poised with her hands on her generous hips, nose twitching in irritation. "You can flirt with her  _ after _ we fix your ribs." Red just waggled his brow bone at you. Beth grunted in irritation before you saw her shove something between his teeth. He grunted and bit down on the soft cinnabunny, glaring at the smug rabbit woman. Finishing it quickly he took the other two offered and sighed when he felt the bones knitting back together. "You really should go see Alphys." Red grunted in disgust and glared at Beth. "no fuckin way am I gonna go see batshit the yellow dinosaur and her fuckin swordfish ball and chain, fuckers prob'ly try to experiment on me again! take a goddamn nap in an alley and everyone's thinking yer dead!" He then got a devious grin on his face and leaned towards you, "hey kid, wanna know how I got these scars?" You snorted and flicked him in the forehead. It wasn't a bad impression.

"So did you give him some monster food or something?" You asked Beth as you watched the bruise under his socket fade to a small scuff mark to smooth bone. She made a sound of affirmation as you continued to study the healing cracks in his bones, you gently touched a scar by his eye and he flinched. You pulled your hand back and apologized, misreading the nervous look on his face as Beth giggled behind you.

Beth was almost about ready to explode from the cuteness, also she liked seeing Sans off his game. It gave her a thrill every time you rebuked his advances but in just the right way to where it didn't stop him from trying again, you both clearly had known each other for a while but why had the bond just now reacted? She was clearly missing a piece of the puzzle and she was willing to hang around as long as possible until she figured it out. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it said nothing about rabbits. "Yes, it wont be enough to fully heal him, he really should see someone with green magic, but hes a stubborn sack of bones, so it'll do."

You nodded thoughtfully, leaning against the wall beside the couch, "if ya wanna kiss it better, I wouldn't say no." You raised an unamused brow at him. "Well, if you're fine, I'm gonna go home." You stood from the wall and walked slowly towards the door when suddenly there was a wall of monster in front of you, which you promptly walked into. You let out a small  _ oof _ on impact but was surprised when he didn't feel very boney, more felt like you walked into a wall of tobacco-scented muscle. "Well I guess that answers how I didn't see or heat you move in. That's a handy trick, can all monsters teleport?" You asked as you pulled your face out of his lower chest and the sinfully soft red sweater he was wearing, he was a big boy. He blinked down at you and started gwaffing. "What?"

"kid you really crack me up." He wiped a tear from his socket with a skeletal hand. "you really aren't afraid of me." You looked up at him and made 'the face'. "How the fuck would I be afraid of a guy who got beat up by a coffee table?" You knew there was no way him falling on that table had caused  _ any  _ of the damage to his body, but you were willing to let him use it as his excuse until he wanted to tell you the real reason. He chuckled but looked down at you with his hands in the pockets of his jacket, "c'mon, yet telling me you aren't phased I'm a big ol' pile of magic and bones with more teeth than a shark that can  _ teleport _ into locked rooms?" You raised your brow at him.

"Red the scariest thing about you is that I met you online and now you're my neighbor. Anyone else and I'd be nope-ing out of here faster than you could blink. I told you I didn't have a problem with monsters and I'm not gonna say it again." You were about ready to smack this man, well, you would if you weren't sure it would hurt you more. Sure his face seemed malleable as he easily formed expressions on his face like a being with skin but it was definitely bone as you had felt earlier with that odd spark of warmth. “Did you move here intentionally, knowing I was living here?” His brows slammed over his sockets in insulted confusion.

“a’course not! how tha fuck would i know where you lived?” You narrowed your eyes up at the increasingly annoyed monster. “fine! i did at one point try ta see if i could find out more about ya, but i didn’t do more tha a normal online search, and i’m a sick fuck doll, but i ain’t no stalker, i don’t want no gal who don’t want me.” You narrowed your eyes at him a bit more, noting his eyelights were pinpricks narrowed on you in turn. You backed off, content Red really was the man- well, monster he portrayed himself as online so far. Honestly you had expected a lot more sleazy pick up lines, but you imagined he was just as shocked about the situation as you were. It made sense he would move here, its not like you were too far from Mt. Ebott, and not many cities were welcoming the monsters quite yet.

“Yeah, yeah I know, thats fair, I did the same to you…” Ah, you didn’t mean to admit that. Beth grinned at your flinch after the admission of you being equally curious about Sans. He was going to pounce on that like a wolf on a steak. “Oh really, sweetheart? My little, curious, kitten- _ Cat. _ ” You shivered as he purred your name, oh no; how could his voice sound like that. It was so much more potent in person, especially standing this close to him, something seemed to pull you in. Sure you found him handsome, though you may not have given him a second glance on the street if you didn’t know him, you just didn’t tend to look at people when out and about. His mouth fixed in a sharp but lazy grin, eyelights just as sharp, intelligence glowing in their depths. He was huge, easily seven feet tall and solidly built, you were sure he had to duck and turn sideways to fit through most human-made doors. You had to admit you were curious what was under the hood(ie), literally, he didn’t feel like bones when you had smacked into him but it didn’t really feel pliable like human skin and muscle. You knew of course knew he would tease you relentlessly if you asked so you refrained. He had advanced slowly on you, pressing you back against the wall in his living room, hands out of his pockets, one arm poised above you in the classic flirting pose.

When you had run into his chest earlier it almost felt the same as when the sunlight hit his bones when they first clawed their way back to the surface, but that was nothing compared to the existite burn of your flesh against his bones, he swore he almost dusted right there. You were everything he could have wanted and then some, rockin, generous curves, long brown and silver hair piled on top of your head in a messy bun exposing the side of your head where the hair was buzzed short. The large green-framed glasses on your face gave you a sexy teacher vibe, accenting your hazel-green eyes, Red was  _ very _ hot for teacher. He loved that you never backed down from him that you fought him every inch, he wondered how much quicker they might have been saved if you had fallen instead of that runt.

Sure he was  _ grateful _ to the little shit for finally getting enough backbone to get them out of that hellhole but with how much time they wasted trying to be friends with everyone, pointless. He would never forgive the little demon for the resets however, played their lives like they were a fucking game- it didnt matter, they were free now and the kid said no more resets. Not that he believed them at all, nah the kid lost their chance the first time they reset their  _ happy ending _ . Red had to admit though, he thought getting out of the underground was it for him. That was all the  _ happy _ his ending was going to get, but the first time he heard your voice he knew he was goner.

It wasn't high-pitched and whiney like a lot of human woman, it was smokey and rich like finely aged whiskey, and well, Red liked a good drink. He eyed your full, rosey lips, wondering how soft they would feel pressed against his teeth, not noticing how close he was leaning towards you. "Geeze Red, I ain't a steak, slurp up that drool ya dog." His fuzzy eyelights sharpened and he blinked, he was looming over you like a boney gargoyle. He recovered quickly though,

"maybe not doll, but i'd eat cha  _ raw _ , like the dog i am." Your thighs did not just clench in desire, nope. Red took a deep inhale when something warm and thick crossed his sense of smell and felt the saliva start collecting in his mouth twice as fast, that was coming from  _ you _ . Beth grinned at the pair murmuring to each other across the room as she slipped out the front door, there were some things she didn't need to witness in person. Red swallowed thickly, no matter how much he wanted to fall on you like dog in heat there was no way he was going to screw this up.

_ Ohshitohfuckholyohmystars, is he going to kiss me? _ You weren't sure if you were terrified or excited. You definitely didn't feel the need to run or escape so what scared you was that you  _ weren't  _ scared of him kissing you. So imagine your surprise when a large skeletal hand appears in your vision. You looked from the proffered hand to the grinning skeleton attached to it. "c'mon, dontcha know how ta greet a new pal?" You blinked up at him incredulously before placing your hand in his palm, expecting some trick- when he yanked your arm and pulled you into a dip, sharp teeth glittering. "nice ta meet cha kitten, names sans. sans the skeleton."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the best, I am going to make this a bit longer I am leaning more towards 5 chapters now since I'm a wordy motherfucker.
> 
> Reds a cute awkward giant skele man who may have just met him match.
> 
> The reader is named in this one and has an appearance unlike my other fic so sorry if this throws a few people, totally not a self-indulgent self-insert at all *sweats*
> 
> Complaints department:  
Undynesspear.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah yeah, I know, this doesn't look like an update for _any_ of my regular stories. Taking a small break from them, feeling strapped for ideas and work is wringing the life out of me lately.
> 
> This will not be near as long as the other two and I plan on keeping this one pretty short, no more than 5 chapters at most, but leaning towards 3. I'll play it by ear.
> 
> Honestly most of these conversations are ones I've actually had somewhat recently and I would be lying if I said they didn't inspire the story somewhat.
> 
> And as always, thanks so much for reading guys!  
Visit me and the Spooky Skeleton Crew at:  
UndynesSpear.tumblr.com


End file.
